Monday, April 14, 2008

I can move ashtrays with my mind

I like to read. Books and Me are like Cheese & Salami, a perfect match. What is better than reading the average book? how about an illegal book blocked by a stupid trade embargo?

Oooh yeah the Tom Cruise Unauthorised Biography. It is everything I hoped it would be.

What is the best part? Feeling like a freedom fighter with my illegal book when snuggled up on the couch? or learning about all the crazy whack shit about Tom Cruise that I didnt know before.. oooh yeah.
Things I have learned thus far.

* Tom Cruise probably lied about having dyslexia? wtf would someone do that? Tom Cruise doesn't need a reason. He is crazy as Batshit Tom Cruise
* Tom Cruise tried to get Rebecca De Mornay fired from 'Risky Business'. why? because he is a cunt.

But the most important thing I learnt is that you don't fuck with Scientologists.

Hell to the No.

If I had enough money I would totally join their crazy cult to live forever in a godlike state in my own mind, and also to learn the skills to move common objects "like ashtrays" with my mind, that would be supersweet, actually I would prefer the skills to move the remote control, so that when it falls behind one of the couch cushions, I don't demolish the entire loungeroom looking for it.

But i won't say a bad thing about the scientologists - lest they frame me for murder for speaking about them being total psycho criminals. (yes. it happened) Nope I'm not gonna say anything, you know "they" could be reading this.

Woo Hoo Scientololgists (but not really) or maybe? (but no..... they suck) unless you are a scientologist, in which case you are ok (except not really you freak)

Boo You Tom Cruise.

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