Monday, April 21, 2008

Die Slouch Boots Die!!

Sure, living in The Dark Ages would have been ass. The plague, dirty water, high mortality rates in childbirth, thinking the earth was flat, no microwaves, no foxtel, no dimmer switch on your lights, no lights in general. Blegh... The Dark Ages really has nothing to offer.. or does it?

The one good thing about living in The Dark Ages would be 'appropriate shoes'. Shoes made for an era, for the people, by the people.

And the most important thing about living in The Dark Ages, would be never having to deal with a freakin Westfield. Which brings me to the influx of the most hideous boots in existance, totally ripped out of the pages of history. The Slouch Boot.

Slouch Boots! I'm sorry but these were phased out in the 80's for a reason!! And not only that I can't help but notice the striking similarities to the boots of The Dark Ages.

Why would I want to wear boots that's whole purpose is to give you baggy ankles??

oooh thats hot. Baggy. These boots should come with a FASHION VICTIM shirt as well as a blowtorch to melt these hideous contraptions once the neutrons start firing in your brain again.

I walked all over Sydney looking for suitable boots for this winter. I do not exagerate when I say "all over sydney" (Chatwood/Pitt St/Bondi/Oxford St) Nyarda. Nothing but these butt-fugly slouch boots, or if I was going through a cowgirl phase, there are ample equally fugly cowboy boots out there too.

Where are all the boots for normal people??? When I spend close to $200 on shoes, I intend to wear them until they disintegrate off my feet. What sort of shelf-life do Slouch Boots have?? 6 months?? sorry but I don't live my life through the pages of Cosmo's "whats hot right now". I'm no grandma, but I want sensible shoes. Shoes to last at least 2 years, to go with a variety of different outfits, shoes that won't expire quicker than 'The Rachel' haircut.

I don't ride a horse to work. And last time I checked I wasn't Melanie Griffith in "Working Girl", so can we please get over this phase of boots please??!! If not, can we work on getting the Delorean into working action so I can actually travel back to The Dark Ages, strut around in my eurotrash slouch boots, totally fitting in, and becoming a millionaire with my invention of the flushing toilet.

Excellent. Glad to see we are on the same page.

Boo You Slouch Boots.


Mex said...

i have been having a boot dilema too! seriously there is nothing but UG UG UG shoes out there at the moment.

KittyMeow said...

I totally here you on that one.
Come to Melbourne though and there are a couple of shops that don't have them. Like Zomp. GREAT shoes.

Shame the sexy dark grey, delicate low heel Italian made boots I want a are a whopping $475!!! DAMN! See, you gotta pay for style these days - don't give up the search - better to have NO boots than FUG boots! :-D

Sarah said...

Right again. Don't people look in the mirror?

Anonymous said...

you're retarded

Anonymous said...

They are extremely sexy and sophisticated. Some, I agree, are ugly, while some are very hot... just like all boots and shoes.

Anonymous said...

I love slouch boots and think you are silly to impose your opinion onto others. You don't have to like them; just keep your thoughts to yourself. I'm sure there are things you do/wear that other's dislike, right?

Rach said...

the whole point of a blog is impose thoughts on others, you, the reader, have to choice not to read it. just like you have the choice to buy really disgusting boots that you will be arrested for, by the SWAT team of fashion police.

Anonymous said...

I believe that if it's "slouched" correctly and has a heel, it looks significantly less disgusting. I'm not one for trends, but I really must say that these aren't as offensive as UGGs or other certain trends.