Monday, April 14, 2008

Breaking News: Gum

I don't know if you have seen these yet, they are pretty new and by god are they a confusing trapezoid of emotions.



First of all, a LIQUID BLAST is never a good thing. Does it feel like the gum in question just got off on my teeth and gums and jizzed in my mouth? why yes. yes it does.

JUDGEMENT CALL: Foul

Then about 3 seconds after this inital heinous crime of candy, the jizz settles and the gum relinquishes it foulness and becomes regular square peg gum.

What gives? At first I want to punch the idiot who brought this gum in the first place, then write a strongly worded letter laced with anthrax to the Wrigleys company... then I didn't mind it so much and settled into chewing said monstrosity for about 30 mins.

YOU'RE SCREWING WITH MY HEAD MAN!!!!!

2 comments:

Gledwood said...

hey did you know they now have the food science to put ANY flavours into those paper-thin nothing-strips... they said that before long magazines shall have food taste inserts just as they've had perfume inserts for years...

you can get EVERYTHING on to them as well... from smoked salmon to grandmother's best casserole to Xmas pudding... EVERYTHING!!

Jo said...

Back in the olden days, there was a similar liquid-filled gum, and a national competition to name it.

Not-suggestive-at-all winning name?

SPURT.

As in "God, my breath stinks. Pass us a spurt, wouldya?"