Wednesday, March 26, 2008

My Wart

I check my body for lumps and bumps all day long. Constantly checking and scanning, and rubbing and inspecting. Often all for nothing, but success!!! I found something.

Something hard.

Something different.

Something gross.

What are you little bump on my heel? why are you in the only spot on my body that it is impossible to contort myself into to look at your properly under a magnifying glass. Why must you grow there? Why not on my hand where I could tend to you and pick you all day long and show my friends.

Hello Wart.

Alas, Warts are disgusting and foul, no doubt picked up from that ONE TIME I didnt wear thongs in the shower at the gym. Going to the gym really isn't worth it. None of my jeans fit me anymore, I have the constant guilt from not going to the gym, and now I have a hideous wart on my foot. Awesome.

Oh well, I will burn you off with glee at the doctors this coming saturday. Farewell Wart. We shared good times together..

What I have to wonder is, if I am all over the tiniest bump on my body the first day it grows, then what the fuck is this guy doing with his spare time??

how did you not notice that growing on your foot? it looks like an enchanted wonderland. I expect to see Smurfs or Elves running amok in that thing. I suppose if I had Smurfs living in my toe I wouldnt get rid of them either. Touche' disgusting toe-man.. Touche..


Anonymous said...

I just threw up in my mouth. Thanks. Dan

Jo said...


Anonymous said...

Thanks hey!!! lol so very kind of you to share that with us, I'm sitting in my office with puke running down my shirt now (not really but if I were squeamish) you should put a warning before scrolling down lol.

bye bye star's warty.

Anonymous said...

OOOH GROSS, that is not your foot is it???!!!

Thats one disgusting growth, extremely catching toooo!!


Anonymous said...