Friday, March 28, 2008

Massive Fucking Spider in the Bathroom Club

FADE IN:

INT: Bedroom. Nighttime.
2 people sleep soundly in the bed, there is a cat in the middle and he is hogging most of the room. A digital clock on the nightstand blinks 2.34am

Suddenly the noise of a car approaching and drunken youths stumbling about awakens the girl who was sleeping

LOUDCUNT: *incoherant drunken rambling*
DISAFFECTED MALE YOUTHS: *drunken rambling*

The car is put on idle and the YOUTHS stand around being loud jerks.

LOUDCUNT runs down the alley towards her unit. CLIP CLOP CLIP CLIP CLOP CLIP CLOP. She is running in high heels. She is clearly very inebriated.

LOUDCUNT Screams

*CLIP CLOP CLIP CLOP CLOP CLIP* LOUDCUNT runs back to the car

LOUDCUNT: omg you have to come back inside, there is the biggest massive fucking spider I have ever seen in the bathroom right now

DISAFFECTED MALE YOUTH: Hell No

LOUDCUNT: Are you kidding@!! its enormous. There's no way i'm going back in there

DISAFFECTED MALE YOUTH: whatevs

*CLIP CLOP CLIP CLIP CLOP CLIP CLOP* LOUDCUNT runs back to the unit

Sounds of screaming and thumping permeate up through the unit to the unit above where the now awake girl is having an aneurysm.

THUMP. SCREAM. THUMP THUMP. SCREAM. The Spider is clearly being thwarted with a mop or broom

*CLIP CLOP CLIP CLIP CLOP CLIP* LOUDCUNT runs back to the car

LOUDCUNT: omg you wont belive it. I just killed that fucking massive spider in the bathroom.

DISAFFECTED MALE YOUTHS clearly don't give a shit, but they turn the car off and walk at a normal quiet pace back to the confines of their now Spider-Free-Unit

END SCENE.

..........................

As much as I really wanted to thump loudcunt for being a loudcunt, I really have to applaud her efforts at thwarting said massive fucking gigantic spider in the bathroom. I am President of Massive Fucking Spider In The Bathroom Club, and would like to extend an invitation to this chick for her heroic efforts, unaided by her blase male counterpart. Cheers to you!! But next time take off your high heels.

4 comments:

Grace said...

Hi..May I know where to get that shirt "I'm busy,you're an idiot,have a nice day" ? It's cool.Ani website or so?thanks a lot

Skinny Girl said...

Baaahahahahaha, you crack me up chick.
Hating the Aussie wildlife though. Am yet to have a major encounter with spiders. Had a minor one which doesnt count.
EEEKKKK!
S X

Futuristics said...

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( . )( . ) said...

funny shit, i fuckin hate spiders