Friday, February 15, 2008

Stop! Penis Time!

yeahhhhhh baby, the hens night is tomorrow and you know what that means! Dick in the Face.
Not only that, but finally the candy bra I brought 2 years ago that I thought would be racy and cute (but sat in the drawer) will gets it day in the sun!

Wooo Hoooo

One part of the planned celebrations is to go to a Karaoke Bar, now I looove karaoke, and have been practising my best moves in the kitchen, doing a bit of Britney and flashing the refrigerator and so forth.... I really hope though that the Karaoke place has "Detachable Penis" because dammit! its all about the dick and I want to sing about penis'

Although in actual fact, penis' are quite gross and unhygenic, so whilst I don't really want some guys helmet in my eyeball socket, I wouldnt mind a flash of some randoms package (which I will trade off for the opportunity to gnaw on my candy bra) so that is the aim of the evening.

It will be quite a relief when this wedding is over, never before in my life have I been obsessed about running all over sydney to find the right shiny paper to print menus on, never before have I stood at a counter for 30 mins whilst the retards phoned managers around the city so I could pay for my $17 nail polish, never before have I gone through a bargain bin of 'dick-straws' to find the biggest and bendiest, never before have I purposely chased down someone so I could pay them $10,000.

and NEVER AGAIN!!!!!!

(Unless I hook up with Daniel Johns, in which case the wedding is off.)


unique_stephen said...

you could jsut pop over to the penis secret blog.

who knows who you will see there.

surfercam said...

I can't wait to hear about your hen's night!

Bonnie said...

I'll bet it'll be relief when all over! I have been maid of honour for 2 weddings and have to get my ass in to gear to start planning my own later in the year and I am DREADING all the planning. I am so un-organised!
Hope you have a fabulous hens night (Oh and another song choice - Short Dick Man)

Steph said...

Um, I know I've been a complete cunt and not visited you for ages cos I've been too busy trying to light my own farts and pluck my ingrown pubes BUT WHAT THE FUCK? Yous getting wed?

Stop the presses!! Holy shite! Well done you! Congrats and all that, and I promise to visit more so I can keep up with the Bridezilla transformation.

Wow! You're being all growned up!
I loves ya Rach, you're still the funniest ho around and I've missed you. xx

Bedazzler said...

Grown up? I knew Steph was deluded but...

Let's see if she comes back and reads her own comment. You know she's the type.

Penis Büyütme said...

Wow! You're being all growned up!