Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Humina Humina Magpie Hysteria

Woke up this morning, tried to leave the house.. Oh, that's not going to happen considering there is a freakin giant Magpie swooping in the staircase outside the front door. Magpies are scary enough when you're outside in the open, let alone when one is going mental and is clearly unstable and could do anything.

I considered calling into work and citing "magpie issues", but felt that it wasn't really a great excuse. Sorry, but having a fear of giant scary birds can be debilitating sometimes.. perhaps I could fashion a ladder out of some sheets and shimmy down the side of the building....

Alas with time ticking and Mark calling me a big pussy, I had to leave the house, whilst he distracted it with a towel, and I ran down 3 flights of stairs screaming my head off. Sorry neighbours if I woke you up and you thought someone was being murdered on the stairs this morning, but how else am I supposed to deal with this so early in the morning.

An hour later, and I was composed and at work.. when I open the Daily Telegraph and saw something that literally made me slide off my seat into a puddle of lust.

My New Boyfriend - Whale Man..... HUNK!!! Saves Whales, drives around in a tiny boat in -10degree weather. Num Num. What is hotter than a guy who works for Greenpeace saving whales?? not much in my opinion. Especially if after saving the whales he came home and cooked a nice pasta for the two of us before working on the engine of his 1950's Cadillac he keeps in the garage, and came inside all covered in oil and grime before showering off and walking around the rest of the night in just a towel.



brunette said...

What the FUCK exactly do those magpies think they're playing at anyway? Hasn't anyone informed them that magpie swooping season is like... Sept/Oct? Isn't this usual 'nesting' time?

Maybe it's a new disasterous effect of Global Warming - year-round magpie swooping.


onecrazypeanut said...

That is one hawt dood.

He's a really good start in making up for those flying vermin and that HUGE fuck-off spider you've posted recently. Very noice. :)

...and aboot that spider, how BIG is it actually? It looks fairly big in the pic but then again I am a bit distracted by the fact that I can see the gleam in his eye. Bastard. (him, not you)

Love your blog, xo (minus the hairy spiders.)

( . )( . ) said...

Oooh errr, mmm sexy whale saver. I like the little scenario you imagined, I might have to replace your whale man with Johhny Depp and ..... *melts*

Yeah whats up with weirdo magpie not knowing that its not nesting season. Maybe its just got some kind of vendetta. I hope its gone when you get home!!

Cazzie!!! said...

The Whale Man is very very cute...those eyes..mmm

Anonymous said...

Holy shit!! I got swooped on by one of those bastards when it was "mating season" and I was on m bike... I now have a total irrational fear of all winged creatures! Bastards!!!!!!

Sez said...

Cor Blimey! Hot Whale saver guy. Who knew??

daisk5 said...

Japanese whale fishing is completely lawful.
And is completely scientific.
In addition, it is a Japanese gastronomic culture to eat whales.
You should refrain from the act of denying the culture of another country.
watch this video.

To the person who wants to know why Japan hunts whales

[DragonBall] Freezer VS Japanese whaling


Why do the media of australia tell a lie and censorship?
if doubt me? Post my comment this URL.