Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Weddings. The Ultimate Weapon of War

I seriously wouldn't be surprised if WWII broke out because Hitler wasn't invited to his neighbours Barmitzvah and took it personally.

What is up with weddings and the totally socially retarded behaviour of people who you deign to call "friends" & "family"

It's obvious when you plan the wedding guest list you are bound to step on someones toes. I just never really considered the penultimate weapon that a Missing or Extended invite can havoc on the world.

Case Point. I knew a guy who wasn't invited to his own brothers wedding.

What a really cunting thing to do. What the heck is up with people?

When the wedding invites are sent out and you recieve one, cant you just RSVP?? without the following social retardedness:

"can my girlfriend come?"
"can my boyfriend come?"
"i hear so&so's not invited???"
"are you inviting the neighbours?? well the neighbours' son is getting married and we're all invited except you"

No they can't come. Did you see their name on the invite?? No more Questions. No more Badgering.

Can't we all just be grown ups? It's not a popularity contest. It's all about Numbers. Nothing else.

All I want is 65 RSVP's and hopefully some really tacky heirlooms. Is that too much to ask????!!!!! That and perhaps a DVD boxset of that stupid show "NUMB3RS" so I at least have a significant prop to hold up when I give my speech.


Lad Litter said...

The prosepct of marriage didn't scare me at all. But the wedding did. It wasn't too bad in the leadup to the big day but the groom is almost an optional extra. I could've sent along a life-sized cardboard cutout and spent the afternoon at the footy.

Leis said...


Anonymous said...

Um..I guess you dont have my London address....can I come..and bring my boyfriend?

Adam said...

Uninvite anyone asking questions - that'll learn 'em. Why are you even having friends and family at your wedding? Invite some meercats and give them ties and dresses.

Original Mel said...

This is why people elope. So that no one is invited and therefore EVERYONE can feel left out together.

Sez said...

"So of course you meant to invite my [insert son or daughters name]?

"Was there name on the invitation? No? Then I was presume if I were you they're not invited.

"I have friends from uni I can't invite cause my mother wants all her friends to come!

"But most of all I'm not paying $125 for your brat to push food around on the plate and cause havoc/have a tantrum at the ceremony!!!

"So no. I'm not inviting children. Even yours."