Thursday, October 04, 2007

I leave parties without saying goodbye

Yeah, pretty much... is that rude?? I just don't see the point in long drawn out goodbye's and doing the goodbye rounds when I'm probably going to see you the next day. Furthermore there are things that happen at the end of a party that always signifies my resolve to exeunt stage left.

Weddings - I will always stick around for cake/bouquet throwing/embarrasing speeches.. One thing that offends my eyeballs so much that I run from the reception hall is; Oldies dancing to bad techno. That is one bad look. Not to mention that the idiotic DJ with no idea who came free with the reception venue usually cranks the volume up so loud as to bust a cappilery in my eardrums. Techno La-Bamba is bad, no matter being played at level 1 or level 11. Oldies gyrating to it makes it that much worse. See Ya! Happy Honeymoon.

21sts - granted I haven't been to a 21st, since 2001 - the year of the 21'sts in my crew, but the time to leave always came for me when the bottle of Midori was brought out.. I cannot even look at that stuff without feeling nauseous.. stemming from skulling large quantities at someones backyard 21st and probably (most definitely) getting alcohol poisoning so bad I couldnt leave the house for 4 days, let alone the bedroom, except to vomit, and beg someone to go to KFC for potato and gravy for me. When that bottle makes an appearances I am like dust in a windstorm.

House-Parties - House Parties are the best, they kick ass over nighclubs, and any other public venue for drinking because a) you control the music. b) beds available. c) "materials" nearby for when you need to do craft/or cook pancakes at 3am. However the party indefinitely ends for me when either of the following occurs. Group Nakedness. What is it about house parties and the need for people to get nude? The amount of times I have casually walked past a window to see a smooshed up dick against the windowpane pains me to think about. Secondly, you know its time to leave when the people you are partying with feel the need to chop up the furniture and throw it in the fireplace.. that is just crazy. If they're burning their wordly possesions then its only a matter of time before it turns into a naked bonfire and that is some shit I dont need to be seeing (flaming nutsacks? no thanks)

Other than that - if none of those things make an appearance I will be the person you need to drag away from the party and force into a cab.. but I probably still won't say goodbye to you.

3 comments:

Original Mel said...

I leave parties when everyone seems to be sitting around "reminiscing" about old times I was never a part of. Men are predisposed to such long, drawn out reminiscing, even though they probably talked about that time Anthony did a nudie run and streaked past his grandmother on the 247 bus to the city last night, and the night before, and the night before that...

And leaving without saying goodbye - totally acceptable. I always do the Houdini. Unless I'm so drunk I need to be carried ot a taxi. But even then I probably won't say goodbye.

AJ said...

There's a Facebook group dedicated to people like you

Steph said...

I never get the chance to say goodbye. I generally just pass out.