Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Pilates - not just poofy stretching

When I look in the mirror these days I see a stranger looking back at Me. The Me that I know used to think that exercise (specially in gyms) was retarded, and walking around the food aisles in woolworths was considered aerobically effective. Then a year ago I joined up with Fitness First.. It was like selling a piece of my soul one small part at a time.

Then the other day I did my first Pilates class
Wow. I am in a world of pain right now.
Stretching has always seemed like a fairly poofy form of exercise to me.. you dont sweat and everyone seems to turn a blind eye to the endless camel toe. I am not down with 'meditation' or 'breathing exercises' or 'poof whale music', and I am especially not down with doing ridiculous stretching exercises all the while trying to hold a fart in.
I guess Pilates does do some good. I can feel my 'ab' hurting. It's all the rage amongst the celebs specially Gwyneth "I do nothing except Pilates" Paltrow - but its probably the most retarded form of exercise I have ever participated in.
Tuck your tailbone in... huh?? are we monkeys?
And roll back and forth on your spine.... ok.. this looks weird.
Wriggle your ankles around.. this is going to make me skinny?? are you nuts?
I dont believe it would make you skinny in the long run, but at least I know I can hold a fart in for 45 mins whilst my body is twisted and stretched out into various torture positions should the situation ever present itself again.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

The person behind you thanks you.

Anonymous said...

that picture of the cat makes me laugh...would be even funnier if it was lenny.
Danx
P.S half of my new office read your blog

AJ said...

To start with, I also laughed out loud when I saw that picture.

Secondly, I too joined fitness first about a year ago, and it was only a few weeks ago that I did a yoga class and yawned the whole way through. Since that experience, I'm now considering pilates... but now... i'm not so sure...
yoga gave me sore shoulders. I'd rather have sore abs than sore shoulders cos i'd at least feel like it's down something useful!

k said...

I laughed out loud the entire time.

Then again, I have a secret love-hate affair with Pilates.

Jo said...

I'm a yoga devotee (although as soon as anyone mentions my chakra, I'm walking), and in Tuesday night's class, I was instructed to "pull up around my anus".

I am now the owner of the World's Most Toned Arsehole.

I'm pretty proud.

Julia said...

Haha great cat shot.

Pilates is the best though, because you see results after a couple of weeks (and I have a short attention span). And helps with back problems later on, and back pain ain't fun trust me.

Geez, must get back into it...