Friday, September 21, 2007

F*cking Gay Answering Machine Messages

I don't have an answering machine. I had one when I was a kid, and I would always delete the normal message my mum had recorded and then record a rap-song (yes my obsession with rap is long standing) and mostly people would go "what the hell was that!!" and then leave their message. In my line of work I am always calling peeps for castings and whatnot, and inevitably have heard every answering machine message out there. These are the ones that make me want to jump through the phone and punch you, or if you really arent home, poo in your potplants.

The 'pre-recorded' supposed to be quirky message - you know these ones that come pre-recorded on Nokia, "thanks for calling the psychic hotline.. you have called .... MEL...." nothing sounds worse than the professional voice over doing this lame shtick then some bogan sounding in, in their nasal twang going "MEL".. arghh just record something normal. I also don't have 2 hours to listen to your stupid Mission Impossible themesong, or anything to do with Austin Powers. Its not Groovy Baby. Glassed.

Children leaving dribbling drooling nonsensical messages - nuff said, we all know how I feel about children.

And finally, the Jerk Message/Makes me want to get Pysically Violent Message:

"we cant be bothered answering the phone"
Well then I cant be bothered leaving you a message. Cunt.

"this is blah blah, seen as how you are paying for this call, we really dont care if you leave a message or not. leave a message after the raspberry. PFFFFTTTTGHGHTT"
OMG I hate you. Not only do you remind me that I wasted money on your cunting machine, but then you do a raspberry!!! GLASSSSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1 comment:

Jo said...

I used to be guilty of having a minute long message that played my favourite song at the time. Oh the shame. My mum and dad hated it, my friends put up with it but funnily enough, most of the time they just sent text messages.

Now I've grown up and it's normal.