Monday, July 23, 2007

Man Overboard Situation

On Saturday - in between my manic Harry Potter reading marathon, I got hungry, I was watching the episode of South Park where the boys go to 'Raisons' *play on Hooters*, and I was thinking to myself - what would go down real nice right now is some Hooters Chicken Wings - so off we goes to Hooters, and did we ever eat loads of Chicken Wings - Chicken Wings and Ribs.. sooo much chicken... I cant even think about Chicken right now, except I can, because I had chicken for lunch..mmm chicken.

Anyway - so its Sunday night and I still havent poohed out my Hooters Chicken Meal, and i'm thinkin 'yowza.. hope I dont bust an intestine'.. so whilst out shopping for weekly dinner ingredients (more chicken) I go into the vitamin aisle to buy a packet of 'herbal laxatives', i'm all for eating a shitload of food, then pooing it out really quickly as to avoid getting fat.. but the last thing I need at a new job is to be known as 'Poo Pants' the girl who ate laxatives then pooed her pants cos she didn't get to the toilet in time.

I really needn't have worried about that - as I will henceforth be known as The Girl who did a giant Hooters Chicken Poo and broke the toilet.

Aghhh, why me.. not only do my toilets at work have a giant window that people can see into from outside *i checked* but I totally clogged the toilet with my giant chicken poo.

Feeling very elated and light-headed from dropping 2kg of chickenpoo into the bowl, I stand up to flush it down, and it just sits there.. and fills up with water... and my gigantic logs almost escape the bowl and do a man-overboard onto the floor.

what to do? what to do??

I stuffed the toilet with more paper (cos that will make it easier to flush) and quickly hurried down the hall to tell the office manager that the loos are broken and someone should call maintenance.. and she's like "oh we don't have anyone, we have to look after this ourselves"

what!! this chickenpoo will not linger on my conscience any longer sorry, so I put a post-it on the look in stealth mode *sunglasses and a trenchcoat* with BROKEN written in large letters.. now all I can do is hope that noone recognises my handwriting and traces the Clog Bog back to me.

Damn Chicken.

10 comments:

leis said...

the memories!

I did one of those detox diets when I was a kindy teacher
(yes! no privacy when kids are talking to you outside your door...)
and I also clogged the toilet bowl... good news - the guilt does go away after a while....

Sarah said...

Wow... I totally laughed out loud at this post, but if it was me I'd probably have resigned and spent the rest of my life hiding in a dark cupboard from the shame...

Just thank your lucky stars it didn't overflow!

Steph said...

Good work adding the dunny paper, at least it would hide your mammoth turd.

You should win some sort of bog award for that effort. Seriously!

Mex said...

yeah but how did your bum feel?

surfercam said...

Hooters FINALLY opened on the Gold Coast recently (you'd think a place like the Goldie would have invented Hooters).
I go there weekly....

hawkeye23 said...

I hate playing "away games". Poos should be done in the privacy of one's own home... especially by the people I work with. Ferals, the lot of 'em.

Kelly said...

hahahahahaha! Thanks for the laugh at your expense. Let us know if you get busted!

random moments said...

Hilarious! I wanted to not read it cuz I saw the words Hooters Chicken Poo, but I'm a girl who loves me some Hooters so I read on...

Noo!! More poo!! Lol! It was a like a train wreck, you know you don't want to look but just can't help yourself!!

Neily said...

The fact that hooters was mentioned in this post makes the whole story somewhat pleasant.

Marcheline said...

icky poo