Friday, June 08, 2007

Free Fruit ??

Today on the way to work I was handed a bag with a Kiwi Fruit in it.....
wtf?
On closer inspection it had not only a strange kiwi fruit that looks like it was sewn together at the top, but it had its own brochure, and kiwi-fruit knife.
This just seems excessive.... do you really want to be eating fruit that albeit has heaps of fibre in it for keeping you 'smooth'.. that needs its own specially knife/spoon "Koon" ?? "Spife" ??
It's just weird.
Dont go handing our free fruit in public places, I am paranoid enough, giving away food that doesnt have safety packaging just freaks me out.. and if we're giving away free fruit, can we give away fruit that isnt so bizarre?
I had a friend who once tried to have sex with a kiwi fruit (kinkeh) and the acids almost burned her flaps off.
Not that i'm saying i'd be having sex with the free kiwi fruit, but give away something not so acidic and sexually appealing. But if we're giving away fruit, give away stuff that people can have fun with of a morning.
Rockmelons - good for harbouring bombs.. come to think of it, they even look like bombs.
Bananas - too sexual
Grapes - good for throwing at peoples heads on crowded trains
That strange pink fruit that looks like an Alien - good for bursting out of your chest in public pretending to be birthing a creature from your lungs.
Peaches - disgusting hairy fruit to be catapulted at school children.. seriously, Peaches are the gayest fruit out there.. you just breathe on it and they bruise.. too sensitive for my liking.
Rambling Much..
In conclustion: Free Fruit is weird, if you must give it away thou, give away free Kit Kats instead... Or Pineapples.. Pineapples are awesome *but again too acidic to have sex with*

4 comments:

Mick said...

Hmmm..Kit Kats or Pineapples.

Bloody Hell. I've never seen judgements on fruit based on whether they'd work as a sexual device.

You crack me up.

Go on...eat one of the Chinese Gooseberries.

I daaaarrrreee you.

Jo said...

On a flight recently, the hosties gave out plastic bags full of slices of apple.

Maybe, and I know this is a bizzare, postmodern concept, but maybe just hand out a freakin' oh, I don't know...APPLE?!?

AJ said...

Sex with kiwi fruit?

I'm still baffled.

phishez_rule said...

At least they're not giving away oranges or some shit like that. They'd be way to acidic to have sex with.