Sunday, May 27, 2007

F#$! You and your Latte's

Coffee drinkers are wankers.
Cappucino, Lattes, Flat Whites, Piccolo Latte, ..... THEY'RE ALL THE SAME THING!!!! But in different cups.

One of the duties at my job is to make coffee's for the clients when they come in, if the assistant is busy, now I personally don't drink coffee, and have never been near a coffee machine in my life until 5 days ago.... soooooooooooooo Loud... CHCHCHCHCHCHCH

Such a punish.

I have newfound respect for peeps who work in coffee shops.....

"I'll have a de-caf, skim milk, half-latte"

Die Wanker.

I went to Kirribilli Markets in the hopes of finding a shirt that says "Fuck you and your Latte's biatch"... but all I found was an old lady purse and a pink belt for $4....

What's wrong with a cuppa tea and some biscuits?? If there is one thing that my colonic lady taught me is that, your colon and coffee don't a friendship make.

Ahhh whatever, if you want to take 20 shits a day, that's your call... just know that when you ask me to make you a double-shot espresso, I am picturing you and the ensuring craps that will follow henceforth.

Coffee Shmoffee.

4 comments:

redcap said...

I've never got the whole coffee thing either. I'd rather take my caffein cold, thankyouverymuch. Just wait until you get tossers who want spiced soy chai latte with a twist. Then you'll really want to see them satayed on a blunt railway sleeper.

surfercam said...

As a caffeine fiend, I'll pretend I didn't read that...

Jacob said...

I enjoy a coffee every now and then, but I never - never - do something as wanky as convolute my order with things like "decaf half latte blah blah."

Why do people drink decaf coffee anyway? What's the point?

Gam said...

it's impossible to get a decent cup of coffee outside of one's home. no point even trying really. they either burn their beans and/or put stupid shit in it like whipped oil, er cream. it's pretty pathetic how people will fork over $5 for a warm styrofoam cup of motor oil and butter and flounce off thinking they're the shit.