Sunday, April 29, 2007

The Interview which Suckeths

There are two types of job interviews.. The one that is really flowing and natural, and the person who is interviewing you sees you as a person and asks you questions to see if you would fit in and if you are right for the position.....

Then there is the interview with the 'form' of generic fucktard questions.... when I walk into an interview in which the 'form' makes an appearance, I am immediately on the defensive, and don't want the job anymore, and I like to fuck with thier heads, just so they realise how wank I think their interview styling is.

INT: OFFICE - Some Channel at Foxtel.
Interviewer: Hello, nice to meet you, this is just a first round of interviews, we'll just go through some questions then we'll see if you should come in for a second interview.
Angst Ridden Rach: Joy....
IV: So, tell me why do you want to be a PA
ARR: I don't...
IV: Well we really need someone who wants to be a PA
ARR: who in their right mind WANTS to be a PA, I am happy to be a PA, I have been a PA, but in the long term.. I have no interest in being a PA...
IV: So what experience do you have?
ARR: *sighing heavily* as it says on my resume in front of you, I have seven years experience in the film and tv industry... did you read it??
IV: What is your biggest weakness
ARR: Answering this stupid question
IV: Give me an example of a problem solving situation you've been in..
ARR: running out of toilet paper - mid crap - in someone elses house.
IV: Do you have any questions?
ARR: Can I go now? and please take me out of consideration for this position. K Bye.

Yeah I dont think i'll be hearing back from them anytime soon - anyway Foxtel is in Ryde, and fuck that for a joke travelling out there everyday.. the only good thing is that I might be able to buy Bulk Tampons from the SC Johnson factory..

I HATE those fucking stupid HR form questionaires!!!! If you need to use one of those forms you clearly have never interviewed someone for a job before.. what exactly are you going to learn from asking what someone's strengths and weaknesses are?? Do you want me to just do my lines from "giving a good interview" or do you want the truth??


Anyway - 2 more interviews tomorrow.. and I have no idea what one of the jobs is... ooops.. I should really pay more attention... just no more lame forms please. Fuckers.


Marcheline said...

If someone will hire people based on their answer to questions like "what is your greatest weakness", they are obviously a waste of valuable air.

They probably also participate in email chain letters, really believing that Microsoft is going to send them a check for a hundred thousand bucks if they pass it along to ten people within two days.

They probably wank off to midget porn.

They probably steal paperclips from the office supply closet because it makes them feel like a gangsta.

Nah, you don't need to be working for dweebles like that.

- M

Anonymous said...

good luck!

Cazzie!!! said...

PMSL, onya for being so honest with them. I hate those interviews too, but, unfprtunately, it is the way things seem to be heading nowadays with interviews..and it pisses me off when they hadn't seemed to even look at the resume they have been given.
Good luck, "take no prisoners!"

Steph said...

It's almost as bad as those fucking psych tests. I'm always suprised when I pass those.

Keep your chin up gorgeous. One day you'll look back on this and laugh....or get homicidal. Either/or.

Leisa said...

I went for a position internally and I got the same shit... my weaknesses I made up - I said handwriting (ok, that is kind of make up) and then I give too much information, I ten went on about helping a customer *cough - LIE* through a problem, blah blah blah.
they ate it up... and on my feedback were impressed I go out of my comfort zones and pay attention to detail.. I didn't get the promotion, hadn't been in the company long enough, so the basically wasted mine - and their time.
the worst thing was having to tell them what I do in current role and what I have done for the managers - I was giving examples what I had done for that manager earlier that week, fucking stupid if u ask me.

on a positive note, we have a new HR girl, I can use the same answers again with her when I go for the next promotion...(or, for my next job interview...)

oh! on another note - if they need a HR form have they not read your application? do they not already know if your suitable or not... I mean I can google the 'right' answers... surprise me, sheesh...

redcap said...

I think the dumbest interview question I've ever been asked was, "If you had a personalised number plate on your car, what would it be?" Naturally my answer was, "I think personalised number plates are crap and I wouldn't have one." Predictably I neither wanted nor got that particular job.

Forget Al Qa'ida, George Bush and Jemaah Islamiah - the HR plague is the greatest threat to life as we know it. I've never quite understood what HR people do. They seem to just sit on their fat arses, organising the footy tipping and working out how to make sure the person who could actually do the job will miss out to some cretinous nose-picker who's only skill is answering wanky interview questions.

Sarah said...

Oh my god you are good!

IV: Give me an example of a problem solving situation you've been in..
ARR: running out of toilet paper - mid crap - in someone elses house.

I hope I can come up with something that original if I'm ever confronted with one of those stupid questionnaires. Seriously, who sits around pondering on their 'greatest weakness'? Someone who likes to waste time (in a boring and uncreative way, as opposed to blogging, lol).

I don't blame you for not wanting to work for a bunch of idiots who use a questionnaire like that. If anything, the fact that they use them is a big fat warning sign about what they'll be like to work for.

Better luck with the next interviews :)

Lad Litter said...

Thankfully I've had more of the first kind of job interviews than the second, but during one example of the form type most of my sentences trailed off into the ether because I didn't know wtf they were asking me. They felt embarassed for me. I felt sorry for them. By the closing stages of the interview I'd stopped wanting the job but I wish I'd had the guts to go all wise-guy on them like you. Keep at it!

Julia said...

Jesus it's depressing isn't it.