Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Seniors Week - Writing Competition

At my library in Woolahra I noticed a sign for a writing competition for seniors.. can they prove i'm not a senior? if they ask i'll just tell them that 'i wear my clothes inside out, i take 10 hours in the supermarket to choose which dishwashing liquid to buy, and i cant hear a word you're saying because i havent turned my hearing aid on'

Category: Celebration
Poem - must be 28 lines and legible.

Titled: Old
I'm Old.
I'm Bald.
I'm don't listen to a thing i'm Told.
I start cooking dinner at Noon.
I drink lots of Goon.
And i lost my watch in a Skin Fold.

Don't you wish you were me?
I need a telescope to see the TV.
I'm mostly blind,
My remote control I cannot find
I catch buses for free.
You'll have to sit in my Wee.

For Christmas I get Pity
For Birthdays its pain
My joints are my enemies
My best friends all slain.

My dentures need cleaning,
My carpets do too.
But what is the point.
When it's only just you?

My grandkids they hate me,
They think i'm a bore.
They would find me amusing.
When I fall over the floor.

Senility is great,
Its really a perk.
It means you'll still love me.
When I act like a jerk.


Unc said...

Well written......BUT...I'm tellin' gran'ma...

Unc Fountain of Truth

Cazzie!!! said...

Is this all about the "ring in" again? LOL

Sarah said...

Oh man... I hope you win!

Anonymous said...

lol. you're awful.

Marcheline said...

I like it!

- M

Rach said...

tell grandma i'm submitting it under her name... we can split the winnings.

no it isnt about the ring-in, he doenst deserve a poem written about him...its about old people as a collective.

rhymes with pony said...

Thats great! "i catch buses for free. Youll have to sit in my wee"
mean mean mean!

phishez_rule said...

That sounds kinda sad. I don't want to grow old if that's going to happen.

Then agian... if I don't know it...