Friday, March 16, 2007

Late Night Poopies

*Warning. Poop Story.

I hate it when an 'unplanned poop' attacks you. You could be in the middle of David Jones (bad) or in the middle of Hyde Park (worse). But nothing is more unnerving than the unplanned late night poopies.

I woke up about 3am-ish.. stumbled in the dark to the loo, and then out of nowhere... Poop.

I was so not ready and I think my sphincter was asleep, cos it took forever.

Then afterwards I felt violated and really awake... pooping requires concentration, and at 3am I can barely make my way back to my bedroom without walking into a wall, let alone guide toilet paper to my bunghole.



Cazzie!!! said...

Must have eaten pears or some sultanas during the day? Be comforted, at least you never did it in the bed!!

Anonymous said...

wow. you are insane in the membrane. lol.

surfercam said...

I too have a poop story today. It involves eating way too many JalapeƱos last night... Good going in - not good coming out.

NeverEZme said...


Steph said...

How do you wake up in the middle of the night needing to shit?
What the hell did you eat???

Nothing is getting me out of bed once I'm there. I would have hung on to that Dilberry all night long!
This may be why i get constipated so often.

Waaaaaaaay too much info. Sorry. I'll just get my jacket.

Marcheline said...

Yeah, I never poop in the middle of the night, either.

But I do hate surprise poops, like when you're at a party at someone's house, and their only bathroom is right next to the livingroom where everyone can hear/smell what happens in there.

Or when you eat at one of those trashy one-step-above fast food restaurants (like Applebees) and before you even get to dessert, you have to go and abuse their indoor plumbing because they use some sort of fucked up oils on their food, or whatever causes that panic-poop syndrome.

Surprise poop sucks ASS. Literally.

- M

Rach said...

I actually got up to pee, and seen as how I was in a sitting down stance, the poop just happened.

Hate it.

I bet boys never have this problem.

phishez_rule said...

If I poop too fast I just sit there for a bit longer and have my afterglow anyway.

Jo said...

I'm a midlle-of-the-night poop veteran.
I dunno - sometimes the kids want to be dropped off at the pool at midnight.