Monday, March 26, 2007

Irreplaceable

HA! I have been going thru the emails of the wannabe Me's, for my replacement at the job I resigned last week.

Hilarious.

Some people have no idea.. granted, I'm pretty retarded, but I would never ever put "organised year 12 formal" on my list of Experience on my resume, for a professional job.

Nor would I put 'Steddy Eddy' down as a reference.

As far as relevent experience I dont think "Data Entry and Filing fingerprints for the Local and Supreme court" is going to be useful when dealing with retarded actors, unless they happen to commit a crime on-set.

Not to judge, but spelling is an intregal factor when sending off an expression of interest for a job - hence this sentence should never have got past spellcheck: "attched is my comprehensiver resume"

And finally one should NEVER put down: Entertainer/Bartender - Perform dance routines. Unless you can type with your nipples and answer the phone with clenching butt-cheeks, your naked escapades should be put in that closet marked "skeletons" to be opened up never.

4 comments:

Cazzie!!! said...

LOL, what, I can;t believe people put lame things in their resume's these days.
I am guessing that a list of organistaional skills and some courses in ofice studies would do the trick. Then again, as you said, they will be working with retarded actors, so perhaps just the fact they might have a DISABLED STICKER on their car would work, they could then also drive the retards around to their job locations, and get great parking!!

Anonymous said...

I could cry I am laughing so much

Malnurtured Snay said...

I graduate college this May, and as I wrote my resume, I changed "deliver pizzas in under 30 minutes" to "successfully oversaw competent delivery of customer order" or some such. God, I'm a great bullshitter.

Steph said...

I think you should hire the stripper. How could she ever live up to you!!