Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Spon-Spon-Spontaneous

I am extremely spontaneous. you need a date for a party? give me 20 mins. you wanna go to Texas for a music festival, lets book our tickets.

Yesterday I received an invite to a 'secret' red-carpet screening of 'Smokin Aces', with my hubby Ryan Reynolds.

Unfortunately it was extrememly last minute - ie the invite came thru at 4.30, so I had to go all skanked up in my bland work-attire. Plus I had to document the occasion with my dodgy camera-phone.

Ta-Dah!
Whilst standing in line (on said carpet) Jo and I were next to Subway, starving, salivating, so finally decided to lady-like wrangle over the fence to partake in some yummy 6 inchers.. that's when my hubby arrived.. just as I was elbow deep into my sambo.
Ryan arrived with Joel Edgerton, and some dumb distribution company sluts who were hanging off him, and eyeballing us plebs in the line.. whatever!! He will probably shag both of you at the same time and call you both 'Melanie' because whilst you are seemingly attractive, you aint no supermodels. Die Bitches. It should have been Me.
Then Ryan stood RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, doing media interviews, he was that close I could have scraped off some skin flakes to do some voodoo spells with to make him fall in love with me.... Or I could have stabbed him.. noone frisked us, I was at arms length away.. so hot.
Ryans Sexy Shoes. Those scuff marks are really turning me on.
mmmmmmm so hot. especially the noticeable pumped up veins in his exposed forearm... just like in Blade Trinity. maybe he was off battling vampires before he arrived???

See! See how close he was, i could have literally bent over a little and licked his neck.
So after the media interviewing he turned around and did some greetings, i got some sizzling eye contact. We then went into the cinema to watch the film, he did an introduction, he is indeed funny, charming and drop-dead-sexy.
The movie was good. Tis a shame that there weren't any soaking wet pyjama pants scenes like in Amityville Horror.. but was still great, knowing that he was around, and could have at any moment, sent a PA down to get me and take me into the bathroom and shag me senseless.
Mmmmmmmm Ryan.

10 comments:

Unc said...

Oh! I live such a booring life....If only I could be popular and be part of the social set...

I look forward to seeing you in the Society Pages....

Unc...Fountain of Truth

mindlessmunkey said...

He just broke off his engagement to Alanis Morrisette...

You are so in!

surfercam said...

You are too cool for school.
Also, heard new silverchair song last night - you were right, it's not good. A bit girly.

Steph said...

Beardy man alert! *runs away*

Rach said...

i love beardys.

although as a child i thought they were all pedophiles.

lucky for ryan, i changed my mind.

Cazzie!!! said...

Jealous I am of you :( Slinks away....

Original Mel said...

Noooooo! He an Alanis CAN'T have broken up! They were my relationship idols. He so manly and sexy and rough and tumble, she so quirky and feminazi and fucking cool. Say it ain't so!

... unless he left her for you, of course, Rach.

Gam said...

mmmm... i don't care for mr reynolds, i don't care for him at all. he ruined blade trinity. which part of SOLO ass kicking vampire hunter needs explaining mr reynolds?

did you think audiences would be enthralled by your quirky nihilistic vampire hunter? did you think they'd say 'oh look, two guns, we've never seen *that* before!'? oh, wait, wait... you're a 'nightstalker'? i think that's french for a big vagina with no super powers who whines for an entire movie.

yes mr reynolds, i really paid 15 bucks to see you, not wesley whatshisface.

Marcheline said...

Nice arms! Not sure I'm too keen on the Dan Haggerty lookalike factor, though... you should have invited him to the restroom... and shaved him!

- M

Russell Allen said...

I am so pro-beard when it comes to Reynolds. Love the shoes to ass, track and climb shots.