Wednesday, February 14, 2007

HOMELESS - The Musical

I cant afford to pay my rent. I'm gonna go live in a tent.
Especially if they raise the rent by 30 percent.
Who the fuck do they think we are? I cant even afford a car.
here's not enough space to even hang my clothes.
There's mould in the bathroom, which constantly grows.
My next-door-neighbours borrow my shit.
They took my potato peeler, and never returned it.
Do they think i'm a millionaire?
I cant even afford to cut my hair.
Rent! Rent!

All this talk about raising sydney's rent scares me. I rent because there is no way in hell I could ever afford a place to buy in sydney. All I could afford would be a one bedroom shitbox in Lane Cove that constantly smells like Paprika. Nor do I want to buy a house out in The West and commute for 3 hours a day. No Thanks. I'd rather rent. But now.. perhaps not.

I think I pay enough for the 'privelege' of living in the middle of the city. And even it's too small for my needs. I need a second bathroom or an internal laundry for my cat for one, do you know how disgusting it feels getting out of a shower and standing on crunchy kitty litter??! it is the worst. Up there with nails on blackboards, and people rubbing balloons.

There are no built-in-wardrobes, so i have a tiny hanger which holds about a quarter of my clothes, the rest which live in suitcases under my bed, and only come out when its seasonally appropriate. Much to my dismay when I am in a cleaning frenzy from having no room. (I accidentally threw out my denim jacket. Fuck It)

And they want to raise my rent!! get fucked. If anything they should give me a discount for having to deal with the psychotic neighbours, and the bathroom that really needs a repaint.

For the amount of rent I assume i'll be paying in the future I should be living in the fucking Ivory Tower.

* How many elephants do you supposed died to make The Ivory Tower??? That would have been like, the biggest Elephant Massacre Ever. Unless there are some mystical Elephants in Fantasia whose tusks magically fall off when you need them for tower building materials. Pfft As If. They couldn't have shipped that Ivory in from beyond the boundaries of Fantasia. Because Fantasia Has No Boundaries. (the biggest lesson I ever learnt)


Original Mel said...

I think it's a media beat up. I am about to rent out my flat so I can pay the mortgage while I'm o/s, and the rent is just barely going to cover thee interest repayments. I will still be out of pocket for all the rates, strata fees, etc. Lessors' market my arse.

Anonymous said...

can we be best friends? lol. you crack me up.

Steph said...

Your musical is fucking awesome! I'd back you finnancially to produce it if i had a pot to piss in, cos i too am a poor, povo, renter.

The Voice of Treason said...

Aren't house prices just all fucked up? To buy a house in a decent area of Belfast I would have to earn 15 times my salary to be just to be considered for a mortgage.

Where's my ski mask and sawn off shotgun?