Tuesday, February 20, 2007

the cramps

but first up:
"I've been to cities, that don't smell like piss. When you're waiting at the bus-stop, you don't have to deal with this. But no matter how wide, or far I roam.. Sydney still smells like a homeless person who ate curry then pissed his pants and fell asleep at Circular Quay"

I love going to work and smelling the sweet velour of the city, first up it's the smell of 2 day old urine at the bus-stop. This is especially awesome on hot days, and even awesomer when you sit down at the busstop and realise a few minutes later that there is a sticky puddle right under your seat and you definitely sat in wee.

Up next is the smell of my bus, which is a combination of smelly wee from the busstop, old fart, peeling plastic seats, and germs. It's only a matter of time before I start wearing a biohazard suit to work.

My morning is topped off with walking down the hill from Edgecliff, to the stench of car exhaust, and past the garbage that fuckers leave on the street - because 'one day' there will be a council clean up. Even though there hasn't been a council clean-up in fucking 6 months, and i'm pretty sure some hairy goblin is going to jump out of the couch which has become a permanent fixture and attack me one morning.

I love coming to work.

Onwards - I have major hand-crampage.

This would be a great story if I was up all night competing in the Girlfriend Olympics practicing for the Best Handjob Medal, but alas I was playing Nintendo.

There is a Nintedo DS in my house, and the game is Mario Bros. I kick.ass. at Mario Bros, I don't even need the sound on, I know all the tunes, from Grassland, Underground Land, Waterland, and Invincible Star Mode. At christmas I saw my cousins and 'wowed' them with my Nintendo Mario Bros skillz.

Too bad I cant type today. I'm sure my boss will understand.

7 comments:

surfercam said...

I know exactly what you mean. I work in the middle of Surfers Paradise, so it's like the morning after New Years every morning - stinks and crap everywhere. Even on a school night!

Cazzie!!! said...

Best Handjob Medal, bla ha ha ha.
Hope your hand improves, so ya can punch the fugg outta them dirty bastards for pissing everywhere.
Maybe, just maybe, Stef's mum can adopt you and you can go to the farm for a while, get outta town and away from exhaust and piss smells.

Kate said...

damn those are the longest fingers i've ever seen!

Rach said...

i shoulda been a pianist!!!

Adam said...

Your boss would understand if you worked for Nintendo.

Cibbuano said...

are you complaining that you live in Edgecliff? That's pretty ching-ching (the sound of a cash machine)

Rach said...

hell no i dont live in stinkcliff!!

as if.

i live in Neutral Bay. Gods Country.