Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Fings

Fuck Off Stabbers - I live in a nice little safety world on the North Shore, I aspire to be a Mosman Mum, I walk home and appreciate the wildlife, and I rarely feel the need to carry a whacking stick, when i'm stumbling home in the dark, to ward off attackers.

That is until now. Some jerk has stabbed and killed my Gelato Man. Can they not!!! If I wanted to live in a world where the Gelato Man getting stabbed is a normal thing, i'd move to Waterloo.

Apparently it was a former employee stabbing, rumous has it that they were having a Gelato War. The employee wanted to introduce a new flavour, like Spinach, or Brocolli, or Beef Jerky Gelato.. and the owner, apparently thought otherwise.

RIP GELATO MAN.

Post Christmas Work Feeding - Its hard to come back to work after being away and get into the routine of eating boring sambo's again. Which is why my lunch lately has consisted of: 6 slices of Swiss Cheese, a handful of nuts, one cold chicken wing, some edible chocolate tree decorations.

I'm still livin the dream.

FOX-Off's - It's a little known fact, that women are better at choosing what to watch on Foxtel, not once have I chosen to watch a movie called MAN-THING and then wanted scoop my eyeballs out with nail clippers.

To men, the relation between the Remote Control and a Vagina is very similar. They don't know what button to push to make something good happen. So instead we have to sit around for hours bored out of our brains whilst they try and make us believe that they have introduced us to a new untapped level of pleasure, wheres we have actually fallen asleep and are dreaming about raping Matthew McConaughey whilst he is in Australia filming Fools Gold in QLD.

3 comments:

redcap said...

I don't get why men have to hold the remote while they're watching TV. It's like their blankie or something.

Cazzie!!! said...

LOL, I like that assimilation betwen the vag and the man's remote control...bloody control freaks...

surfercam said...

mmmmm Beef Jerky Gelato... ahhhh...