Friday, December 15, 2006

Work Shmirk

Everybody has crazy shit they have to deal with at work. Having to work with complete randoms with their obsessive nuances can be quite amusing - especially in a small office, like mine.

Rationing of Milk - milk, is a luxury item, that gets rationed out, barely. You are allowed maybe 2 drops per cup of tea, and no more than one cup of tea a day. Give me a break. It would be worth getting sprogged up just so I could shoot breastmilk into my beverages and not have to worry about the rationing. POW's had it better than this. One of those tiny square boxes you could drink in 1 gulp has to last a week. I am not joking.

The Nectarine Debacle - Today I got told off for eating nectarines at my desk because it 'spoils the look of the place'.... whatevs... what do you suggest I do then?

The working world accepts the ciggie break, I am going to petition for 'The Nectarine Break'... Or perhaps I should say that I have low-blood sugar and that without an hourly nectarine hit, I could pass out and do they really want my death on their hands?

The 'Balcony' - somehow the fogies have deluded themselves that the fire-escape is a tuscan balcony. Just because you have some terracotta pots with some dying plants does not a balcony make. I refuse to sit out there and eat spaghetti off my knees.

So yeah small business.. wooooo. Not. I really hope the next place I work has a microwave. that is all I ask.


surfercam said...

Take your own milk and write all over it "Property of Rach".
Instead of nectarines, take bananas and just suck on them seductively.

redcap said...

Um, I'm not sure how nectarines spoil the look of the place. Mandarins, fine - they smell. But nectarines? Would they rather you lower the whole tone of the office by eating fruit straps? Or, God forbid, muesli bars?

kate said...

lmoa. i want you to be my new best friend.

i totally sympathize. i work in a hell hole of an office the size of a closet for one person, the hideous bossmonster. i've been here for ten years, don't ask me why. and i cannot take it another minute longer.

michellesarah said...

I recently moved to a mid-sized company from a non-profit organisation small little company... I think it's the shiznitz. I've heard stories about evil massive companies too - so I think I've got the best of both worlds at the moment.

We don't have faux balconies - we do have a fairly miserable lunchroom though. We're always whinging that "the brisbane office's lunch room is waaaay better than ours. They have a coffee machine!!".

I've heard of a HUGE mining company here in perth have a totalitarian clean-desk policy. That makes for interesting reading, let me tell you... You can't even leave YOUR OWN WORK ON YOUR OWN DESK overnight. It must all be completely packed away with only the phone and your computer remaining. Everyday. Seriously. Eating? Pfft.

Jobe said...

Oh Rach. Is there anything you do like?

Rach said...

i like........ lamp

i like plenty, but what how boring would that be to blog about stuff you like??

i'll try and be more upbeat in the future.