Friday, December 01, 2006

Uninspired

Fuck Astrology.
Wanted: Muse.
My new lipgloss kicks ass.
November was a fucked month.
I have $18 in my wallet to last till wednesday.
My new hairspray is shit.
I've been depressed for a week.
It's never good news, it's always Rejection.
I've stopped being photogenic.
One arm got sunburnt yesterday.
I need a new book to read.
I need a new favourite song.
Fake tan looks fake on me.
I have too many secrets.
I can never smell the perfume i'm wearing.
I feel like i'm waiting for something to happen.
I have more enemies than friends.
My computer is being a fucktard today.
I think I have a lot of residual bad-karma debt from a past life.
But i'm not a hippy.
I hate beer.
I peel stickers off fruit and stick them around my desk.
Why do they even need stickers?
I can't remember any jokes.

Pity-Party - Population: One.

12 comments:

Leisa said...

i know you have $18 till Wed.. but what if i shout you a mid week steak?
ill get the bus so i don't crash the car?!?!?

Rach said...

hella!

i'll mycult message you and we can organise.

Julia said...

I like point form.

Tell us about the lipgloss.

Hope December is better for you (ok, and for me too).

Rach said...

Lipgloss is from 'Benefit'

very shiny and Porno looking.

best purchase in a long time.

Bring on December!!

kate said...

wow. pity party is right! but this totally made me laugh. i think i'm gonna make my own list.

hope you cheer up soon.

Cazzie!!! said...

You need to get that single of Johhny Farnhems..One is the lonliest number!!
Nah, why not call a friend and tell em drinks are on them and go over there and crash the night?? Watch an old DVD or something?
Cheer up soon ok :)

redcap said...

Aww, poor Rach! I like the pity-party idea, though, and may throw one of my own.

In no particular order:

November is just an arse month - I blame the inappropriately early Christmas decorations.

Apparently if you can smell your own perfume, you're wearing too much and the people around you will be suffocating.

Beer smells crook and tastes worse.

All hairspray is crap, so don't feel too bad about your choice.

Have you read Running With Scissors by Augusten Burroughs? It's been around for a while, but it's an interesting read and is guaranteed to make you feel much better about your own life. Or to continue with the running theme, Running in Heels by Anna Maxted is a nice bit of chick lit. Also been around for a while, but everyone I've recommended it to has liked it.

As for astrology, another journo once told me that her country paper had all the horoscopes done for something like 10 years in advance. They were in a little index card box in order and ready to use. Naturally, she dropped the box and there were horoscopes from arsehole to breakfast-time. For some reason, they didn't have dates or even star signs written on the cards themselves, just the dividers, so she just shoved them back in at random. People kept ringing in, complimenting the astrologist on being so perceptive and accurate.

Steph said...

Spill the secrets.
That is all.

Oh yeah, random pash to cheer you up.:P

Rach said...

thanks guys!!

I feel much better.

Red - I am definitely keen to read Running with Scissors.. the movie is coming out soon, and I have always wanted to read the book first.. i just hope my shitty library has a copy. Who can afford books these days??

thanks everyone for the love.

my pity-party was awesome. Everyone showed up. Ie: Me.

Russell Allen said...

Get that other arm sunburnt to even it up.

Place the can of hairspray inside a molotov cocktail and watch the fireworks

Fake tan looks fake on everyone. Those who think is it doesn't are completely fuckin deluded

All computers are fucktards. It's because they watch p0rn all day when you're not there.

You are still photogenic from what I can gather. Providing you have your tits out in the photo.

etoilee8 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
etoilee8 said...

I always get rejected by boys.
Where I live, I have more enemies than friends (but I've got a small army in the UK).
I feel like I'm waiting for something to happen (too).
I feel like I have bad-karma from a past life (too)
I have a constant tan because I'm black (which makes me feel self conscious in the area I live in).

But I do think you're really funny. And I enjoy hearing about other people's pity parties because god knows, I throw a good one. Take care!