Tuesday, December 05, 2006

The Slutty Dictionary

I was having a think as to what defines a one-night-stand, wheather it means sleeping with a stranger, or just sleeping with someone once.. this is what I came up with, and some others.

One-Night-Stand: Someone who you didn't think you would be sleeping with, when you woke up that morning.

One-Time-Repeat: Someone you have sex with once, then you bump into them again and bang one more time.

Asshole-Sex: A guy you go out with who bangs you once then dumps you.

Pouch-Sex: When you don't actually open up properly and they just have sex with your flaps, or leg.

Beer-Dick-Sex: Sex that never ends

Bro-Sex: Sleeping with brothers (not necessarily at the same time, as that is kinda incestruous and gross)

The Un-Knowing Fuck-Buddy: He thinks you're his girlfriend, and introduces you to his mother, wheres all you wanted was sex. But he buys eggs for you for in the morning, so he can be forgiven for being an idiot.

Oops-Anal: When it 'accidentally' goes in.

Dream-Shame-Sex: When you dream that you're sexing someone, then you see them and can't look them in the eye.

Disappointing-Exotic-Sex: When you go on a holiday and think you'll be doing it under a waterfall the whole time, but probably only have sex once, in bed, in the missionary position.

Klepto-Sex: Where you sleep with a guy and steal something as a souvenier

Slip-n-Slide Sex: Where its 40 degrees, and you've put on too much lube and you keep sliding off each other due to the sweat and lube factor.


Julia said...

LMAO! Genius!

I've had six of the ones mentionned.

Rach said...

my signature move is Klepto-Sex.

Russell Allen said...

Pouch Sex sometimes happens when playing rugby or some other kind of random contact sport

audrey said...

Brilliant. Dream-Shame Sex defines my entire high school years.

kate said...

wow. i need to start having more sex!

Cazzie!!! said...

Bwahhhh, that make sme laugh, thanks for that, after having just got home from xmas shopping I truly needed that.

Darryn said...

You forgot Weird Al Sex: Having sex with your iTunes playlist on random when a Weird Al Yankovic track comes on and spoils sex forever.

Rach said...

i also forgot 'Tikka Sex'

when you shag someone after eating a lot of Indian Chicken Tikka, and it kinda smells funny afterwards.