Thursday, December 07, 2006

Christmas Un-Wish List

I generally think that giving Christmas presents is stupid. It's a chore, you have to think up something sweet, it can't be too cheap, it has to be something useful, it has to fit their taste.. overall TOO HARD.

Christmas Presents should just be for kids. And if you need to buy gifts for adults - they should be silly things, like an Apron with boobs on it or something.

Here is a list of things I do not want for Christmas.
  • Baggy underpants many sizes too big. Not only am I not a size 16, the fact that you thought they might fit me is insulting
  • A plastic soap-holder
  • Anything from The Body Shop
  • A set of Coffee Cups
  • A coffee machine
  • Any machine that does things that I could get a professional to do. ie: a juicer machine, a grilling machine, an ice-cube machine, a sushi making machine. They are big and cluttery and I will never use them, specially when i can go to the shops and buy a juice for $4 or go to Sushi Train.
  • Sparkly tops from K-Mart.
  • Gigantic Earrings that give me droopy ear-lobes
  • Useful Kitchen Items - like a chopping board, or pizza tray. Boring.
  • Cheap sets of make-up or nail polish that come in a huge box that should really be for an eight year old.
  • Books about Astrology
  • Cookie Jars that Rap when you open them
  • A seasonal thermometre
  • Sexy Pyjamas that ride up my crotch
  • $2 shop thongs

I don't need or want anything. But if you had to, you can't go wrong with Knives, or 'A Donation has been made in Your Name' Card.


groverjones said...

"Cookie Jars that Rap when you open them"

I didn't know they had such things!

surfercam said...

For the first time in my life I actually want an appliance for Christmas:

kate said...

where do you come up with this stuff? lol.

i'm so glad i found your blog.

Rach said...

thanks kate.

nice words make my day.

Anonymous said...

What? no books about Astrology? :)

I'm pretty sure I want none of those things on the list either, especially the pajamas(or pyjamas) that ride up my crotch...

Many, many years ago I lived in Kensington (over by UNSW, actually at UNSW), and was back in Sydney for a couple of months in '04... (and the rest of the country, nice little walkabout of a sort)

Rach said...

wooooooo! Kensington.

you're so trendy.

so i take it you weren't accosted by 'drop bears' ?? excellent.

redcap said...

Ooh yeah. Don't forget books by the marketing machine that is Bryce Courtney. No-one wants that shit either.

Cazzie!!! said...

If you happen to get a VAnilla body oil from the bosy shop can I have it then? My 3yr old just pored it on her it smells devine..and sickly too it is so overpowering LOL

Rach said...

all my christmas crap is up for grabs.

anything vanilla is yours cazzie.

anything by Bryce Courteney is going on the bonfire, you red, are welcome to come along.