Friday, November 10, 2006

Year of the Banana

New Years Eve is always a massive downer.. Such Build-Up then .. nothin. One time I stayed up watching Ricki Lake, then my Champagne bottle fell off the table and smashed and I ended up mopping the floor all night.

Since I live in Sydney which boasts the "best fireworks display in the world" I feel its my duty as a Sydneysider and a Taxpayer, to make the most of it.

The New Years Fireworks is always brought to a crux with the big explosion of the Bridge, and the anticipation of what they will put on the Bridge - which is somehow meant to define how we feel as a nation and what the New Year should sybolise for us.

1998/1999 - Year of the Lame Smile

Year of the Smiley Face.. In a word: uninspired. I think might have been one of the first times they dared to put something on the Bridge. It's like someone first encounted Smileys on MSN. Nice touch with the fringe, but overall, not the greatest Bridge Display. Baby Steps, Its like Basquiats first Fingerpainting.

1999/2000 - Year of Graffiti

This isn't Eternity the Perfume - no no. that would be too classy. This is Eternity the scribble that was placed all around Sydney by a preacher guy called Arthur Stace. I guess it was year of the "turn a blind eye to graffiti".. (I bet none of the kids caught tagging up stuff got off) Poignant, but don't ram your Christianity down my throat.. no doubt The Jews were offended.

2000/2001 - Year of Snakes n Stars

We couldnt tell the stolen generations of Aboriginals that we are SORRY, so instead we put a lizard on the Bridge. yeah.... I really don't think that makes up for anything. 'The Rainbow Serpent' is a good book for primary schoolers, but I dont think the rest of the world understood where we were coming from.

2001/2002 - Year of Poo

This is what we have to represent to the world? and the many international visitors that grace our shores every summer?? a large poo? I really dont want foreiners thinking "wow those aussies really love their rocks".. we don't all love rocks! Clearly some Geologist got hold of the fireworks display that year. Don't let him near it again.

2002/2003 - Year of Peace

One of the better ones. What with the world being fraught with fear over the War in Iraq, and the aftermath of September 11. But what is with the Pirate Ships? will we ever be able to break free of our sordid history of a nation of convicts?? clearly not.

2003/2004 - Year of just blow it the Fuck Up

I guess we ran out of themes that year.. and just decided to load the bridge up with as many fireworks as possible and blew the shit out of it. Good Taxpayer Money there! Who needs Roads and Libraries! More Fireworks!!!!!!

2004/2005 - Year of the Stupid Ball that does nothing

What a letdown... All over Kirribilli you could hear people "is that it?" "what does it do?" "is it supposed to do something?" In a word. No. It did nothing. Cept look really crap. Worst Bridge Ever. Fact. Are we at a rave in 1991? I dont think so.

2005/2006 - Year of spreading the Love

Meh. I was so pinging off my head thought it was pretty great. But overall. Too commercial, too mainstream... too meaningless. Everyone living in sydney knows that we all hate each other and rudeness is a part of daily life. I thought the heart was forced and fake (but i was loving it for a few hours there)

So what is there for the 2006/2007 New Year Bridge Explosion?? Rumours are that it will be: 'A Diamond Night in Emerald City' - what the fuck does that mean? that doesn't signify anything that our city has been through recently.

I think it should be a Big Glittery Banana. Everyone would know what that means. It would signify the loss due to Cylone Larry (not just our nana's, but many peoples homes) it would show that we haven't forgotten about our fellow countrymen.

It would be cry out that we know that inflation is a bitch. That we are dealing with it. And what a sad state we live in when even the upper-middle-class can't afford a freakin banana for their kid's lunch boxes (let alone my own).

A Banana or a Petrol Pump. Those are my suggestions. (Plus it would make the people living in Coffs Harbour feel special)


Unc said...

I lke the idea of a bannana, but it has been done by Warhol on the velvets cover..the petrol pump might be OK....but what all aussie boy's could really relate to is a penis pump...I call 2007 ..'the year of the penis pump'..

Unc Fountain of Truth....

Don't I do any work....just read the Pelican blog..tsk..tsk..tsk..ah! who cares I'm still gettin' paid..

Rach said...

I'm doing even less work.

Sometimes my actual work doesnt get done cause i'm too busy mucking around..

meh I just blame it on the guy who doesnt speak english.

Cazzie!!! said...

I bet they put "Bye Crikey" on the bloody bridge!!!

redcap said...

Rach, I hate NYE with a passion. I don't understand the attraction. Every year, you feel like you have to have a really, really good time on The Biggest Party Night of the Year. Instead, it just crashes and burns. I think the best NYE I ever had was when I stayed home on my own and watched an old BBC version of Pride and Prejudice (all four hours) and ate popcorn.

Girl About Town said...

Oh, I've never laughed so much as I did reading these descriptions of the bridge on NYE....!!! (I'm born and bred Sydneysider, now living in Melbourne).

Just discovered your blog - great stuff!! I'll be back!!

Rach said...


i'll keep up the good work then.

R xx