Friday, November 03, 2006

Stop. Collaborate and Listen

Last night I watched 'The Surreal Life', and I was stunned to see Vanilla Ice acting like a total ass. Poor Ice Man

He posesses more self loathing than I do!

Ice was saying how fame completely fucked up his life, and has spent years in therapy getting over his icey image. He HATES old pics of himself, and I can see why:

Nice Metallic America Suit. How did he get his hair so flat?? It's pretty impressive either way. Looking back, I can see how this would be embarrasing for a man. Almost as embarrasing as the orange jumpsuit I insisted on wearing everywhere when I was nine because I thought hari-krishna's were cool.

It saddens me to see a grown man so full of anger and hate at his previous rapper image. I think Vanilla Ice is cool. And if I could meet him, I would tell him that back in year 6, I thought he was The Shiz.

Considering he wrote "ice ice baby" when he was 16, I have to give him snaps for his waxing lyrical prowess:

To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle.

Hella! I so know what he's talking about.

This is Ice as he looks today.

Only don't call him Ice. His name is Rob Van Winkle.

And don't forget he's: killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom Deadly when I play a dope melody Anything less than the best is a felony.

Word Up Rob. I luvs ya.


Leisa said...

Icy Rov, I still love ya mate, WORD.

Steph said...

I prefer him with the flat hair and shiny suit.

Word to ya mutha!

Rach said...

3 inch raised hair with a dangerously flat edge needs to make a comeback.

men need something to accessorise with.

Anonymous said...

Hari-krishna's arn't cool??? ohh man

Ice takes me back to my year at summer camp as a counselor in the US, but there sure is something critically wrong with his hair, he's got a head like a poisonous mushroom.

MarkRam said...

Man this guy was my hero back in the day. I think I learn't all the lyrics to 'Ice Ice Baby' the first day it was released. And if it wern't for Rob Van Winkle the shaved lines in the hair would never had existed, which am not sure is a good thing or not. So Confused...

hawkeye23 said...

His hair still looks shithouse, countless years later. WTF is going on with that? Looks like a peroxided monk.

Sarlaughalot said...

It's all on. New found respect for *Rob*. He was sixteen? Bless.

redcap said...

Um, anyone remember The Offspring? "They didn't have Ice Cube, so he bought Vanilla Ice?" Sorry, Rach, but now he looks like a really uncool PE teacher who perves on all the girls.

Anonymous said...

People who bitch about being given large sums of money for having no talent what so ever need to be raped by an Ox. ;)


Rach said...


PE teacher.

He so does.

Russell Allen said...

A few years ago he was also in the Top Ten Jetskiers in the world. Word.

Rach said...

Jet Skiing??

Yeah I can see that.

If he had a sparkley wetsuit to wear.

Julia said...

I went to his concert FFS.

Rach said...

how many songs could a man play at a concert who only really had one hit?

unless he played the song he wrote for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles soundtrack?

Cibbuano said...

hee hee! Vanilla Ice!

Remember, he did a movie?

I posted a clip: Cool as Ice

'Drop that zero and get with a hero'

Hee hee!

Rach said...

wow! he did more than one movie!

apparently suge knight held him off a balcony until he signed the rights over for Ice Ice Baby.

Poor Rob. He needs a hug.

Markram said...

The Tag line to the film is as follows, and I kid you not

'when a girl has a heart of stone there is only one to melt it.just add ice'

The director couldn't get work for 8 Years after he made 'Cool As Ice'. Yes I have seen it and at the time I thought it was great. I was 9 years old with lines in my hair, happy pants were in and Ninja Turtles were god... Damn Flashbacks.