Saturday, November 11, 2006

My-Yi-Yi-Yi-Yi Woo!

My-My-My Colonic was today.

BEFORE


AFTER


My Colonic was performed my new best-friend, Angela. I say she is my best-friend because anyone who has seen you (ALL) of you, really deserves to be at the top of my Christmas Card list.

First of all I had to fill out a form about why I was taking a Colonic.. "Curiosity".. Why Lie?? I dont have anything wrong with me, I just want to see what all the fuss it about.

Then you de-robe and lay down and the pipe goes in, that will flush water in and flush waste out. Ange told me that many people feel that having a colonic is a very spiritual experience, as the intestines are right where your solar plexus is - (if you have seen Donnie Darko - you would relate this area to where the worms come out of your gut and guide you on your pre-dertmined path in life) Any bad feelings and emotional pain is stored in your solar plexus, and if you are a Cancerian (like me!) then you find yourself dwelling on the past, and the injustices you have suffered throughout your life.. I was looking forward to finally being free of that baggage.

Pipe goes in, Water goes in.. it's not as pleasant as they make it out to be - it actually kind of hurts when the water goes in, then when you feel like you are about to explode, she turns the water off and the waste starts coming out.. Ange massaged me on my stomach to aid in the removal of any toxins from the intestinal lining - which was very calming.

She does this about 7 times, and when you remove a blockage it really is quite a nice feeling. The whole process takes about 45 mins, then you get off the table and make with the friendly chit chat, like she didnt just see you do about 15 poo's or see your bumhole up close.

Turns out Princess Diana was a big supporter of Colonics, and afterwards, I cant say I felt a great spiritual ephiphany, but I did feel emotionally closer to Princess Diana than usual.

14 comments:

Darryn said...

What the fuck did I just read?

Steph said...

Did carrots come out?

redcap said...

La la la la la! Not listening! ;)

Anonymous said...

Ha ha ha!
What it expensive?
Do you feel less bloaty (not that I'm insinuating you were before, but you know what I mean!)?

Diana Gallagher said...

AWSOME! Thanks for sharing, very brave of you. You'll have to let us know how you feel tomorrow.

michellesarah said...

How muccccccccccch?!?!?

Rach said...

I know that might have been a little TOO MUCH INFORMATION.. but hey.. I like disgusting things, and I like to share.

Steph - no carrots came out.. I think I saw some capsicum though.. I havent had capsicum in ages, so I was sort of horrified.

I feel less bloaty and apparently will have 'clearer eyes' in the morning... Cant wait to check that out.

I am sort of ashamed to say how much is was - but hey, its weird and naturopathy, so I feel its alright to be paying $98.


$98 for the best shit of my life.

I'm having another one in a month.. so hopefully i see some carrots or some gum, because that apprently takes 7 years to digest.

michellesarah said...

I'd totally pay $98...

So what do they tell you about the 'good bacteria' in your insides? Do you have to like... restock or something?

Rach said...

I thought I would have to take good bacteria pills or something, but the therapist said to just eat healthy - avoid red meat and dairy for a bit, and the body will naturally fix itself.

right on!

I recommend having it done, even though its slightly uncomfortable at times, i like knowing that I am doing something to make my body healthier from the inside.

till the next time.. here's to a new healthier me!

ilse said...

I am stupefied, slightly turned on and laughing hysterically.

Having lurked here a bit I'm sure that this is a normal reaction for anyone to have after reading your blog.

Haha. Top stuff Rach.

Now I can't stop thinking about poo.

Rach said...

if I can make you think about poo. my work is done.

Skid Marque said...

I am soooo going to get one,Rachy,it must have felt great to get rid of those blockages...However,I might have to get rid of my hemorhoid first (hemorrhoid has to be the only word that spells the way these nasty butt veins feel)

ilse said...

Well, you *allowed* me to think about, Poo, Rach. That's what I'm getting off on.

Poo...

My Secret Guilty Pleasure (along with deep sonorous farts in bed and gherkins)

Mars said...

^ weird

my guilty pleasure is Chris Isaak.



i have always been curious about the colonic irrigation thing ever since i saw a pic of paris hilton leaving a clinic after (allegedly) having it done. thankfully, i'm pretty sure you just cured me of that curiosity.