Thursday, November 16, 2006


Part of my job is to go to the Theatre, and see Plays or Musicals, and I feel like I have become quite the connoisseur. But, I have some tips for the writers of Musical Theatre.

It is un-necessary and annoying to sing all your lines. Seriously, time would go much quicker if you just said "we need to get these bags on the ship", as opposed to "bags we must get, on the ship, on the ship, to sail away on a dream and shinnnnnnning staaaaaaaaaaaaaaar"

When everyone dies in the second act, maybe you should do less singing and jiving, and tone it down. In 'Fiddler on the Roof', in the second act, everyone gets shipped to the East and dies in the Concentration Camps of WWII. In 'Titanic' they all drown, and it just seems inappropriate to be singing: "we're all gonna die! we're all gonna die! yippedee doo we're all gonna die"

Aimlessly Walking Around the Stage. I can handle one dance routine where you all walk around in circles, but not twice, and definitely not thrice.

I do like Musicals though, I like how every little thing warrants a song.

"My iPod was stolen"
"Your iPod was stolen......................"

CUE: Lights and Dancing Girls with Nipple Tassles

The iPod was stolen, right in front of your face, nobody saw it, what a disgrace.

It's time to move on, and get something brand new. Here is what I think you should doooooo

Get over it. Yeah!
Get over it. Yeah Yeah!!
Get over it. Yeah!


Cazzie!!! said...

You need to go to the gym and kick and punch the shit out of a boxing bag!!! That'll make ya feel better I am sure.

surfercam said...

I'm not really a musical kind of guy, but I do see you point.
I also see Cazzie's point.

unc said...

Can I play the lead of the muscle laden chap on the front desk...Act 1 Scene steriod falsetto...Nooo young lady.....nooo-one has handed an I-pod in,'Weee as an organisation cannot be held responsible..for your valuables..did you not read the SSSighnnn...

I'll even dye my hair blonde and purchase lycra short shorts with Londale singlet for the oportunity to audition.

Unc...Fountain of Truth

Rach said...

i think we should be able to fit that into the routine.

also need a group of people on exercise bikes chanting

"the gym doesn't care. the gym doesnt care"

Pomgirl said...

Enjoying musicals is my shameful secret. You won't tell anyone, will ya? I don't need them to sing every line either, but it can be quite amusing.

Andrew Lloyd Webber should die though, right?

kate said...

wow. can i have your job? i'm so jealous.

Rach said...

Pomgirl - Maybe when you're back in the homeland you can track down Mr Webber and have a few strong words with him.

Kate - You can come work with me, I need someone to go to Plays and keep me awake throughout the War Epics.... yawn... tragedy is so boring

Darryn said...

Have you seen Little Shop of Horrors? Easily its best numbers are when the giant evil plant is devouring the cast members.

You should call your musical "iPod!".