Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Petty Pen Shit

If there is one thing I am precious about, its Pens. Pens are crucial to my job, and life in general. So I HATE it when people either steal my pen, or break my pen.

This week I have had two fuckers come in and press too hard using my felt tip pen and now its all squished and doesn't write properly.


Yes, I am a loser. But fucking hell. Until Pens grow on trees, people need to learn to stay the fuck away from mine.


Cazzie!!! said...

OMG! I agree 100% As a nurse my pen is vital for (use as a make-shift tracheostomy) writing notes and jotting vital signs down and everything....when someone nicks it I spit the dummy bad!

Rach said...

I am at a stage where I think it would be "fair enuf" to go to jail for killing someone for wrecking my pen.

surfercam said...

I used to work for a Merchant Bank in London.
This very well groomed older guy in a nice flash suit came up and asked if he could borrow my pen. I said yes, he borrowed it, and then walked off.
My colleague across the desk could see that I was just about to open my big fat mouth and abuse this guy for stealing my precious $1.99 biro, when she thankfully stopped me by saying, "He can do that - he's the CEO."

markram said...

I'll be honest here people, I Am a pen thief. Yes that's right I am one of 'Those People'. I guess I do it as I do not get attached to pens and don't realise that other people do. I mean I like a good pen but I wouldn't say I have my own pen. If I need one I'll go upto a desk and just grab one, then two minutes later I have the owner of that pen threatening me with a knife yelling 'Give me MY Fucking Pen back' I then look at them and say 'It's just a Pen' and there response 'It's not just a pen, It's MY pen'.

So, that is my confession for the day. Maybe I need to buy a pen and live with the pen to realise how attached you can get to one.

Unc said...

Get a life..LOSERS

I have a huge pile of pens that I take great glee in stealing from whom-ever I come into contact.

I also steal them from Banks, I actually like the challenge of undoing the pathetic little knots they have in place in a feeble attempt to stop the likes of me.

I also like fancy hotel pens, TAB pens, KENO pencils, visiting dignitary pens, police station counter pens, etc etc.

I have an excellent pile of stolen pens in my top drawer at work, at times the drawer actually becomes full and I have to take some home and put on the sideboard...they often overflow from there and end up on the floor to be broken up by family traffic..only to be sucked up in small pieces by the wife's vacuum cleaner...but I am satisfied in the knowledge that some greebles like you pack of whingers are suffering due to my affection for petty theft. SUCK EGGS..

Just a short aside..even though I no longer smoke...I still borrow cig. lighters just so I can slip them in my pocket and add to my collection. I am paticularly partial to the pretty little fuckers that people are silly enough to pay several dollars for at Pubs, Clubs and bottlo' know the logo with names like Darby's Bottle Shop or Penrith Panthers Leagues Club.

Please contact the Dr Pelican so she can forward any pens or lighters you may have, but it is better I only take the one's you are particularly attached to.

....UNC...fountain of truth