Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Lies

Exclusive Report. Berocca and Endorphins are complete bullshit.

Point One. I had a packet of Berocca expiring in my drawer so I decided to test the theory that 'a berocca keeps you going' by having one each morning. The only thing to happen was that my piss was fluro yellow, seriously, that stuff could have been seen from the moon. I did not feel any peppier or energetic.

Point Two. "Endorphins"... what a crock of shit. Apparently exercising releases endorphins that make you feel good, I clearly lack that gland. I have never "felt the rush". I have however "felt like i was gonna die", or "been unable to feel my legs". Don't try to trick people into exercising by telling them it makes them feel good, tell em the truth that fat people are disgusting and noone wants to see that shit jiggling down the street.

No-One loves a Fatty.

Word.

4 comments:

fatty fatty fat fat said...

why is it so hard for people to be that honest? I wish people told me i was becoming porky instead of waking up one day ashamed of what I had become.. a fatty fatty fat fat...that was 15 hard work kilos ago.... and many more to go...

TELL THE TROUTH PEOPLE... no one likes a fatty OR a liar.

groverjones said...

I'm not so sure about the endorphins, either. On the one hand, if I go to the gym before work I tend to concentrate better in the morning (even without coffee *gasp!*), and also I'm a doctor so I'm supposed to believe science and stuff. On the other hand, when I exercise in the evening, frequently the 'felt like I was gonna die' converts to 'bring me food NOW!' which then becomes 'need sleep....zzzzz'
Either way, my beer belly is going away, so that's good. Also, from the doctory point of view, it's bloody hard to tell people they are fatty-fatty boombas (and get them motivated to do something about it) without offending them or having them ask for a pill or something to fix it. On the treadmill, off the Coke and Mars Bars, people!

Anonymous said...

Berocca may not work but it truns Coke green. It's witchcraft I tells ya, because green coke is unholy.

Julia said...

This is all true.