Monday, September 11, 2006

We are all made of Birds

Sydney needs a new icon, something that we can proudly get behind and use as our mascot.

Sydney is a city full of life, and all different walks of people, from varying socio-economic backgrounds, many diverse ethnicities, and a tonne of freaks.

I think that Icon, should be The Pigeon.



The Pigeon is the representation of a society of scabbers, sitting in puddles, dealing with day to day shit, everyone thinking you have fleas and avoiding you in the street, yet still finding the time do a jig in the rain, even though they may be homeless and eat donuts they find in the bin, at least they are content with their lowly position in the world.

Other Cultural-Icons you will find in Sydney are:

The Smelly Ibis

Smelly Scavengers with no idea, who invade your personal space, and steal things from you - not unlike a Taxi Driver who charges you $56 for a trip from the Airport to Mosman (jerk) or a Hooker who accosts you while you're parking your car and goes "yeeeeh you wanna get some".... and you thusly have to drive thru a carwash to get herpes off your door-handle.

The Bitchly Cockatoos

SCEGGS sluts who are in a clique and laugh at you behind your back. They have been friends forever and probably hate each other, but are too involved in out-doing each other to move on.

The Kookaburra Wannabe

Looks good, but has more fleas than anyone else.. Pretty much the Lindsay Lohan of the bird world.

The Drunken Seagull

Is not aversed to eating food off the floor, or hanging out with a bunch of losers. Enjoys getting drunk, swigging dregs in leftovers found at the bar, eating stale nuts. A good pal to have around, cept you can't actually admit to being friends with them.

5 comments:

KITTY said...

HILARIOUS!

Cazzie!!! said...

OMFG, that is the best post I have seen all bloody day...hoorah for you Rach!!!! Man, I know so many seagulls it is so ashamable (is that a word?)LOL.
The other birds I call do-do birds, just a bunch of num nuts hangin around stealing oxygen :)

Enny said...

Whenever I see an Ibis I have to fight the urge to grab them round their pointy beak... I don't know what it is!

PS - word verification: shytta. I thought that was funny seein as the post was all about birds...

Steph said...

OHMYFUCKINGOD! I hate, loathe and detest birds. ALL birds. But i can't believe you left out the worst one of all.

The cunting Magpie.
I was swooped on Friday and I'm still having nightmares.

Rach said...

perhaps I shall make a bird post the second..

to include the cunting magpie, and miner birds.