Saturday, September 09, 2006

Hens Hell

I had my sister 'squared' (that means sister in-law, in-law)'s Hens Night today.

Point One. RAIN + WIND does not equal fun.
Point Two. RAIN + WIND + Randwick Racecourse, does not mean you will see me in a dress despite the prejudice sighted against me.

Upon getting to the racecourse in my Jeans, Boots, Jumper, Jacket, Scarf I walked up and down, and up and down, and up and down some more looking for the friggen entrance... did I mention the rain + wind?? (Anger Levels = 2)

So, eventually I get jack of the walking, and decide to ask a security guard with no teeth where the "plebs" get in because all I see are wanky member entrances.. he points me in the right direction.

I walk past what I can only describe as a Preppy-Sceggs-Slut... who has her b/f holding the umbrella over her head cos she has a bandaged knee, and crutches,...she then has the gall to say to me "pfffffft nice outfit".. (Anger Levels = 3)

I should have called out after her "nice crutches!!"

I get into the racecourse and some guy calls out to me "nice hat!" .. and I yell at him "yeah well at least i'm not in a stupid dress freezing my arse off!"... he crestfallenly replies "I think you look nice".. I stopped yelling at him long enough to say "thanks", and most likely turned him off giving compliments to random screeching harpie bitches for the rest of his life.

Nothing says Family Fun Time like drinkin champagne at 11.30 am (specially with another sister squared who has a penchant for alcoholism, as the last time we hung out she tried to get onto me then threw a glass at my head).. we had to stand outside in the rain because Mother-In-Law-To-Be insisted on bringing an esky and a picnic basket with her and we weren't allowed in the grandstand.

Also, nothing says classy like 'Chicken in a Biscuit', whistles shaped like penis', and a flashing neon badge saying "BRIDE TO BE"

Call me a snob, but I could not get out of there fast enough.


Cazzie!!! said...

If I was the bride to I was 11 years ago this 23rd of September...I would be the one wanting to get the fugg outta there COMPLETELY. I would leave my mother out-law standing there with her picnic basket and grog in the damn rain!!! Sorry it was a shit time for you :(
For my hens night I just went to a restaurant and then onto the IVY nightclub afterwards. I planned it that way :)

Leis said...


go the westies from Hammondville!!!!


Rach said...


I would sooner die than invite the westies.

I'll have a secret hens night and we'll call it a "chick gathering" so they don't catch onto the fact that they were clearly barred.