Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Birds - The Reckoning

And on we go with the Cultural Landscape that so marks our great city, and defines us as a nation (if we were to compare ourselves to birds)

The Cunting Magpie

Total Cunt... Loud, obnoxious, got a ego on it the size of china.. is what I colloquially refer to as "the lebanese of the sky".

The Weirdo Pelican

Freak, Loner, Enjoys having a ridiculously huge beak and carrying fish around in it - what some might refer to as a hoarder of useless junk, has nits and smells, unaware of imposing size and freakish demeanor. Is trying to be a swan with its long neck, but ultimately is too weird to take seriously.

Pinging Owls

Know it all who stares at you in an un-nerving manner. Comes up to you at a club and says "hey I dont want to have sex with you because i'm gay".. and you're like "wtf?".. Random. It's not often you see an Owl, but when you do - its memorable.

Dickhead Miner Birds

Conformists. Dickhead "group" mentality. Gang up on someone then run away and cry when you put the hose on them. "short man syndrome" - trying to be Magpies, but failing. Would probably gang rape a chick just to impress their losery friends.

4 comments:

Steph said...

Fuck off! I friggin well commented here earlier! Cunting blogger!

I said i hate all birds. Especially Magpies. I was swooped again the other day and i'm still having nightmares.

Cazzie!!! said...

OMFG, you are downright hillarious girl!!! Str8 off the mark, the Magpie caption takes the bloody cake!!!
Pelicans are my favourite bird, dunno why, maybe it is because they are weirdo's as you say it.
Absolutely funny....:)

Adam said...

You forgot Sparrows which are clearly the exact same as the kids who hang out at the tuckshop and ask for 10 cents off everyone.

katherine said...

the owl did it for me...that is exactly what an owl would say,could they speak..