Friday, July 21, 2006

Unspoken Facism

There is a huge divide in Sydney - caused by the Harbour Bridge.

I work in the East and live in the North, so I am affronted with it daily.

Noone is willing to step out of their comfort zone, the city is "scary" to some, the north shore is "boring" to others.

A guide to the divide:

North Shore Sluts
Never venture over the bridge, prefer to stay in their local burb and get raped by the spoilt assholes who live at home with their parents in mansions.
Dickhead Rating - 8/10

Westy Bogans
Are completely enthralled by their own existence, and think the world revolves around their street.
Never venture into the city because "well why would we when there's a chinese restaurant in the woolies carpark??"
Never travel overseas, Only shop at Discount Outlets, Move out of home when they are 35 and buy a house in the same suburb they have lived in their whole life.
Living in a Bubble rating 10/10

Inner City Snobs
Trendy Trendy Trendy.
Have travelled the world and will pay $200 for a haircut.
Want to emulate what its like 'living in New York', pay out the ass for their lifestyle and are generally very social...
Won't drive over the Bridge for any reason.... Ever.
Wannabe Trend Rating 9/10

(Sub-Category) Northern Beaches
Basically westy boganville but near a beach.
They won't even venture over the Spit Bridge.

I have lived everywhere; Perth, Newcastle, Byron Bay, Coolangatta, Elizabeth Bay, Potts Point, Kings Cross, Petersham, Stanmore, Lilyfield, Harbord, Manly, Cremorne, Crows Nest and Neutral Bay.

But the ONE place i will never go is Westy Boganville.
I dont want 10 kids before i'm 30, and living in a housing estate with my mother-in-law 10 mins away doing tupperware parties and getting shitfaced at bbq's every weekend.

I like living where there are Trees! and Owls! I bet you don't see Owls in Darlinghurst! I like being able to walk home in the dark and not get accosted by a drunken aboriginie who wants a cassette tape for his walkman.

I like the city, I like swimming at Neilson Park and lying on the grass so I don't get copius amounts of sand in my vag, I like the grit of the innercity, there is vomit on your front step, but who cares??
Redfern is cool.

I am an Innercity-North-Shore-Snob-Ho... and Proud.
(with just a little bit of country in me, i like peeing in bushes.. so help me)

1 comment:

Miss Natalie said...

10 kids before i'm 30... But why? I'm sure there are 4 diffrenent fathers?

Miss eastern suburbs