Thursday, July 27, 2006

Door to Door Rapist

Last night at about 8.30 I had a door salesman come and try to sell me electricity.

Nice One Fuckface - do I look like i'm sitting around in the dark killing chickens and sacrificing virgins??

Pffft "Electricty"... may as well strapped a sign on himself that says RAPIST.. or JEWEL THIEF.. I've seen 'Home Alone'.. I know how these things work.

My plan to get rid of the robber scoping out my place is act like a smack-addict when he answers the door.

KNOCK KNOCK
"yeah hi - are you needing electricty today?"
"not so much, you wouldnt happen to have any money would you, i'm all out of drugs and I really need to buy some"

Now by doing this - he will think that he's better off robbing my neighbours because i a) have no money .. and b) have no drugs.

4 comments:

Trundling Grunt said...

did he have it in a bucket, or was he selling it by the case, or sack. Did he bring samples (don't shake his hand - you never can tell).
And I thought he was selling a door?

Los said...

What you should do is maybe try pretending you have some sort of sexually transmitted disease, and then ask him if he'd like to come in and "get a little bit more comfortable."

Barry said...

OK what did I miss? It said 53 comments and there are 2? LOL whatever you have it is cool.

Also I always sort M&Ms before I eat them, that must mean something is way wrong with me!!:P

Nikki said...

Priceless!